Yesterday was Parent Visiting Day at my school. It was endearing to see the students excited to show their parents around the building, point out their projects on display, and introduce them to their teachers. What’s more, parents get a glimpse into the daily lives of their children as they go through their schedule. I’ll admit that it’s also gratifying when they hug me and say things like, “I don’t know how you do it. I’m exhausted!” or tell me that they had a lot of fun in my class. It would be wonderful if there were more opportunities for such positive interactions.
Because I began my career as a special education teacher, I was accustomed to having a great deal of communication with parents. My philosophy was that the parents and I were on the same team. When I transitioned to teaching English, I knew I wanted to keep the same level of interaction. I wanted to do more than merely keep parents informed. I wanted them to be engaged and to realize their important role in their child’s education beyond elementary school.
When children are young, it is simpler for parents to become a part of their child’s class, but this proves more difficult once students enter middle school. Children begin striving for independence and establishing their adolescent identity without the interference of their parents. Parents are caught off guard when their child suddenly begins pushing them away. Because middle schoolers are walking contradictions, they are pushing parents away with one hand, while wanting their other hand to be held. Therefore, I try to incorporate ways for my students to remain connected to their parents as they navigate adolescence.
The very first homework assignment I give every year is for parents (to the delight of my students). I send home a simple writing prompt: In a Million Words or Less, Tell Me About Your Child. Their responses are varied and valuable. I have had parents write poems, include childhood photos, or insert relevant song lyrics. Often, the parents tell me they were moved to share their assignment with their child, bringing both of them to tears. More often than not, I receive emails like this: “I really appreciate your interest in helping Jade and the other students. How wonderful to have such a caring educator.” I know my request is appreciated.
As the year goes on, I give many assignments where adult interaction is an essential component. Students conduct interviews about family traditions and stories. They write poems about their heritage and family traditions. I ask parents to take reading “selfies” to display in class. I encourage them to discuss the novel we are reading in class with their child (and many even end up reading the book). Pupils write persuasive letters to their parents. I often receive unsolicited feedback from these projects, and it is heartwarming. Last week, I received this email response about poems students wrote modeled on the “Where I’m From” poem by George Ella Lyon: “When I was at Parent Visiting Day, I saw [my child’s] poem on the wall, I was in a hurry so I took a picture and forgot to read it until today. It brought tears to my eyes. Every single word in it is related to something deep and special.”
Beyond family assignments, I email parents at the beginning of every new unit and invite them to participate by sharing their special skillset. In addition, I request parent feedback on each of the projects we do. One parent said, “What you have taught these students has gone far beyond the classroom and [my student] is a better person for having you in her life. I cannot thank you enough.” In this small way, parents are seamlessly integrated into their child’s class.
I know many teachers feel that parents are a necessary evil that comes with the territory of our chosen professions. At times, this can be true. However, I’ve found tremendous success by being as transparent and inclusive as possible. I open the door to the classroom and invite them in. In doing so, we become teammates instead of adversaries. After all, we are all on the same side—that of their child.
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